Sometimes a catamount likes to sneak up on ya. That’s why you need a good bell. Just hit it to the beat of Karp’s 13 ways to a cavity, and you will not get eaten, probably. It might make you hungry though, for hot dogs. Vegan hot dogs, if that’s your thing. Little fleshy plasticy fingers of faux meat. Mmm. Anything is good if you dowse it in monoculture hyper processed ketchup and have had a few rounds of Crystal Pepsi and Heet. Don’t drink that. It will literally kill you. You have to build up a tolerance first, lube your gut with Prolink and fiber provided by Phil Wood hand cleaner. Wood fiber. Toxins stand no chance.

I suspect these bells are made by Crane, but they come with no packaging, and don’t say anything on them, at least that I can recall. So who knows who makes them. Hopefully not that guy who writes Dilbert. What a jerk.

Fun colors make your bike fun, as if an inanimate object could be fun. It can’t. Ever seen a slinky when it’s standing still? Not fun. Fun-esque. Implied fun. How about that?

Buy this bell, get 20% more fun-esque vibes.

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