The technical name for this tool is CNW-2. Which is short for Country N Western Vol 2. If you see that CD at Goodwill, don’t pick it up. Goodwill is a rip off these days. Who wants to buy a used shirt with a hole in it that was never in style for 6 bucks? I only wanna buy that shirt if it’s 50 cents.
Country N Western Vol 2 has such hits on it as I flushed You From the Toilet of My Heart, Gimme a Kiss and I’ll Give You Tobacco Juice, Fords are made for Farting, and You can’t Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd.
The chainring bolt tool itself is way less interesting. It’s a bent piece of metal that Park makes by recycling pop tops that it salvaged from the aftermath of a Jimmy Buffet concert in 1983. Here’s how it works:
Try to find the tool. Start by digging in the pile of metal shavings and Limp Bizkit tapes on your work bench. Ask your mom if she’s seen it. Eventually find your roommate using it to pry his DVD of Over The Top out of his computer.
Start to thread in all your chainring bolts, using a bit of bees wax on the threads.
Careful with your chainring orientation, especially if using Bio Pace rings. Usually there is some sorta tab or label that tells you which end is up.
Side bar: if your crankset has it so one of the bolts is tucked in behind the crank arm: slip in the nut side of your chainring bolt first. Sneak the CNW-2 through to grab the little slot in the nut. Balance that there whilst you find the other half of the bolt, it probably just rolled off the bench and across the room. Then thread it in. So likely this one bolt is in the opposite orientation of the other 4 chainring bolts. IE hex side facing in.
Get the bolts as tight as you can with your fingies.
Then put the park tool on the back of the bolt and your 5mm allen key on the front. Don’t bother with a Torque wrench. Just get it as tight as you can.
That’s it! Give tool back to roommate. There is no way you are gunna watch Over The Top, again. It’s time to move on to Roadhouse.
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