Analog Built XS Hardtack Custom Demo

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-$1,200 (27%)

During the Civil War, a young soldier named Tom was huddled behind a barricade, desperately trying to avoid the Minié balls wizzing over his head. He had been in the thick of the battle for hours, and his stomach was grumbling with hunger. All he had to sustain him was an extra small hardtack that he had been saving for just such an occasion.

As he unwrapped the Hardtack, a mosquito named Larry flew into his ear.  Tom dropped the biscuit to smote Larry.  The Hardtack settled in the folds of his rough wool shirt.  While examining the remains of Larry on his palm, Tom felt a sharp pain in his chest and realized that he had been hit by a bullet. But as he looked down, he saw that the Extra Small hardtack biscuit he had just bitten into had stopped the bullet in its tracks.  It didn't get bikerumor's editor's choice award for nothing.  

Shaken but alive, Tom knew that he had been given a second chance. He survived the rest of the battle and went on to write a book about his experiences during the war called "That Sucked".  But it wasn't until years later that he found his true calling.

Tom had always been fascinated by penguins, listening to Morgan Freeman talk about them in measured tones over the crackling hiss of an Edison Cylinder, the Penguins brought to life by the Magic Lantern show.  He began to research the creatures in earnest. He discovered that they were more than just cute and cuddly; they were complex social creatures with intricate communication systems and hierarchies.  

Inspired by this discovery, Tom began to write a book about penguins as social media influencers. He hypothesized that, given their innate social skills, penguins could be the perfect ambassadors for social media campaigns.

Despite some initial skepticism, Tom's book was a huge success. He became known as the "Penguin Professor" and was invited to speak at Flat Earther conferences and events at Holiday Inns around the world. His theories about the power of penguins as influencers were eventually adopted by major brands like Pepsi (see the invention of Crystal Pepsi article on wikipedia) , and he became a sought-after consultant.

Looking back on his life, Tom realized that his experience with the hardtack biscuit had changed his entire trajectory. Without that moment of luck, he might never have discovered his passion for penguins or become a successful author and consultant.

And so, as he looked out over the glittering waters where penguins swam and played, Tom knew that he had a lot to be grateful for. And he knew that, in some small way, it was all thanks to that Extra Small hardtack.

Got questions about spec or sizing?  Email us!  If the question is about sizing, email us with your height and pubic bone height, as measured using this method.  Send 3 measurments.  You need a friend to help ya.  


Frameset Tanglefoot Hardtack
Headset Threadless Promax Sealed 
Headset Spacers 1 1/8" Wolf Tooth Anodized
Stem, Threadless low rise Ritchey Trail 35mm
Drop Bars 31.8 Ritchey Beacon WCS 42cm
Bar Tape Tanglefoot Corduroy Road Bar Wrap
Handlebar Gel Spank Gel
Bar Plugs Plastic Compression
Brifters SRAM Force 1x11
Brake Cables TL Jagwire Pro
Brake Housing Full Jagwire standard lined brake housing
Shift Cables x1 TL Jagwire Pro
Shift Housing 1x full Jagwire Lined
Ferrules Brass full length housing
Cable End Crimps Colors
Disc Adaptors Rever / Tektro dealers choice
Disc Brake Calipers SP TRP Spyre SLC
Disc Rotors SRAM Centerline, Centerlock
Saddle Brooks B17 Standard Honey
Seatpost 27.2 0mm offset Nitto S92 Black
Seat Binder 30mm Wolfooth
Crankset 1x MTN RaceFace Aeffect w/ Token BB and RF 32t Chainring
Pedals Chromag Contact
Chain 11 speed PYC 11 speed
Cassette 11 speed Shimano Deore 11-51
Rear Derailleur 1x11 SRAM Force 1
Hub 12mm Front Bitex 12mm x 100mm Centerlock, 28h
Hub Rear 12mm Bitex 142 x 12mm w/ HG Driver, 28h
Spokes Pillar Single Butted 13/14 Gauge
Spoke Nipples Alloy
Rim 650b Road/gravel Disc Spank Flare 24 OC
Rim Tape Discord Gov't Issue Tubeless Tape
Valve Stem Discord Earthworm Valves
Tires 650b Road Panaracer GravelKing Semi Slick
Bottle Cage DT King Cage Ti Natural Titanium finish
Main Water Bottle Cage Bolts Wolftooth Alloy (9 bolts)
Fork and Rear Stay Bolts Wolftooth Alloy (10 bolts )
Shipping Information

Our on-line store is open 24/7 and we ship Monday through Friday, excluding some holidays. Orders received for products without shipping restrictions on its product page will ship the same business day when received before 12:00 p.m. PST. Orders in high demand will have an estimated production time listed on its product page and will ship according to the date listed.

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