Tanglefoot Uncle Morris Night at the Legion Handlebar Tape

Uncle Morris had the personality of a lobster.  He was the scourge of plastic lawn chairs, which stood no chance against him.  I never saw him dressed in anything except off brand Dickies pants so threadbare that you could see light passing through them, a stained button up shirt from the Nixon years, and the inevitable rainbow suspenders.  If Uncle Morris ever said a word, I'm not aware of it.  He just showed up at family picnics, having driven for hours on dirt roads, to eat highly buttered very soft vegetables.   

In February of 1975, Uncle Morris emerged from his mobile home on Valentines day, when the Legion did their annual stuffed chicken cordon bleu dinner with DJ Ken.  Uncle Morris got into his Marmon touring car and creaked down to the Legion wearing the only new pair of pants he'd ever purchased.  And the pattern was magical.  It was the only time Morris cut a rug, but South Pomfret has never been the same. 

I've reproduced it, using state of the art AI powered 3d printers, based on the newspaper clipping that reported on the dinner and dance.  After upscaling the grainy black and white image, I had AI colorize it based on historical sales records from Vermont haberdasheries, triangulated based on Morris's income at the time, and his late life penchant for rainbow suspenders and butter.  And lemonade.  Morris crushed some Minute Maid.  The results are below.  

18' of tape.  Roll it out, cut it in half, then cut 3" chunks from each side to prewrap your brake lever area.  Double stick tape, hand applied while full of coffee, so it might be a bit wonky.  Rolled around a dowel branded in a cloud of smoke with the all seeing eye and the 14 stars of Vermont off the original coin of Vermont, before it was a state.  

Sorta a wooly loose weave.  We recommend putting Fizik gel underneath the tape.  Don't shellac it.  There might be some random strands of fabric that poke out.  This is Morris approved, don't worry.  Who doesn't have a wild hair now and again?